I'm feeling useless....well not really useless but like I'm letting my family down. I should be in Tucson with my mom and sisters helping my aunt, but I'm not. That was one of the things about me not working....I was suppose to be able to go anywhere my family needed me. I know if I tell Frank I want to go to Tucson he would say go, but I can't do that to him. We need to pack up and make our way to Fresno, plus we can't leave Jazzi by herself and I can't take her with me. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. My brother asked me yesterday if I was going and I told him I couldn't and he made me feel like I was letting my aunt down....made me feel like shit. I know my mom, sisters, and aunt understand why I can't be there right now, but I'm having a hard time....I tend to be way too hard on myself. I forget I'm only one person and I can't be everywhere. I'm hoping once we get to Fresno and unload everything we will drive to Tucson for a few days.

On another note, I'm totally frustrated too. We will have no idea where Frank's next job is going to be. I try not to bug Frank about finding out......he tends to put things off until the last minute and that drives me nuts. It drives me nuts because I'm the one that needs to make the hotel reservations and the car-dolly reservation....plus I'm not a last minute person.

2008 is not starting out the way I was hoping......