Sometimes I wonder why God does what he does. Why does he take our loved ones away from us? My Tia went to heaven at 10:35am today. She wasn't alone....her two kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids were with her. Mom said she went in afterwards and she looked peaceful, like she was sleeping. I feel like a piece of my heart has died. I know now I have another angel in heaven looking down on me, but I want to be selfish....I still want her here. I want to be able to hug her and tell her that I love her and that I'm so glad that she's my aunt.

I have guilt....I can't even be there to hug my mom, my sisters, my brother, or my cousins. I feel so far away. Frank was ready to put me on a plane a couple of days ago, but I told him I couldn't....I couldn't face this without him.

Now I wait to hear what the arrangements will be.